Ok now it urge to cut my self is becoming rediculous (i know i cant spell I suck). I very nearly did when it was new years only because i was wasted, but apparently i was that wasted because i remember almost slitting my wrist. My uncle saw and stoped me, hes my new favorite person he didnt tell my parents yeah, but i only think he didnt because i was drunk and he was too. Im fine now on the killing my self thing, but i still need to see my own blood. If anyone have any ideas im listening. Bloodlust >< in my mothers eyes thats inhuman vampireish even ^_^. HAPPY RELATED NEW YEARS TOO.

Ok let m tell you about my situation. Well im 15 years old but since i was little ive always been bored, sad, angery, depressed, emoish. Im not medically depressed but i always have a sad feeling in my gut even when im laughing. I am always the straight A student, the person that was a goody good, the well behaved student, even thought I have a very dark mind. I started showing my intrest in magic, demons, vampires, werewolfs, how i like the taste of blood. When I was like 8 but my mother tore up most of my drawings that showed i was not how i use to act, how i use to be. When I turned 14 I started scraching, not cutting yet, my arm to make myself feel better. Well a few months ago I started cutting because it felt so good and the stress was unbearable and I started to keep a journal about what I was thinking. Well a week ago my mother saw my arm, went throw my things and took my journal, and said if i continue to do any of this i will have to go to a theripist (i cant spell), knowing i hate them with a passion. So i havent cut my self in weeks and when i get mad i feel weird.